How to thrive when triggered

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Hello fellow feisty soul,

If you are anything like me, you have had a lot of life experience, not all of which left you without scars. It's these preexisting wounds or new skin that leave us vulnerable. We become a little more sensitive to sun, wind, rain, bug bites.

Our spiritual/emotional skin responds the same way our physical skin responds, it becomes more sensitive. Events that once would have meant nothing all of a sudden throw us into shallow breathing, tight muscles, tears, anger, and general feelings of not being centred and grounded. We have been triggered!

Just because we've been triggered doesn't mean we need to lose our dignity! Here are my secrets to moving forward with my chin up.

First, I need to know what triggers me based on my own unique wounds, challenges, and experiences.

So I make a list in my mind or preferably on paper of times I have been triggered or uprooted by life. (I made a nifty worksheet for you too click here. )

My list of known examples include: being pulled over by the cops, having a man yell at me or get in my personal space without invitation, kids screaming in the grocery store, financial challenges, being late, overly intoxicated folks, loud noises, flashing lights, and snow.

Your list can be longer or shorter than mine. It may grow or shrink over time too.

Trigger Worksheet pdf

Using the Trigger Worksheet as a guide, let's work through an example.

Please note: while knowing why something triggers you it is not absolutely necessary and can even be a distraction to supporting yourself through a very real experience that you are judging instead of loving yourself through!

I am going to walk through "being late".

Before:

Knowing being late creates anxiety in me I plan. I give myself extra time to be a cushion. Being a single mom with two sensitive kids (and sensitive myself) I want to honour the fact that life happens and I need to plan accordingly. That being said I don't schedule extreme amounts of time. Just five minutes. And I prepare my kids and self the night before for the plan. Ie. we need to leave at 8:30 to be there at 8:45. I now know from years of experience how long breakfast and showers take and plan for that too! (Plan!! These things are rarely surprises.)

During:

The one thing I have yet to learn to plan for with being late is bowel movements. And I have to confess, it could happen to me just as often as it happens to my kids....we are on time and then nature calls.

During these times, deep breaths and compassion are the comfort I offer myself. A healthy body process is way more important to me then being on time (priorities). And preventing an embarrassing accident that would require way more time and effort is exceptionally more important to me than being on time. (I have learned that people are very understanding too.)

After:

If I am late, I reflect on what "went wrong", was there anything I could have changed? And then I adjust my future plans.

The thing I see with most clients is that they rarely reflect on past experiences in order to coach themselves into better future experiences.

And yet this is a quick and satisfying way to grow and improve our life.

I hope this helps and encourages you to take your power back and create the life you want one trigger at a time.

(I promise, there is no rush.)

As always

, I am here to remind you that You Are Enough and it's time to stop suffering and love your life.

Let me know how I can help.

With Love,

Casey Berard

PS. If this has helped you, it may help someone you love. Please share far and wide. More love and compassion in the world is a good thing!